So very true – and so VERY destructive… The best thing a man can do is kick a woman to the curb if she isn’t providing benefit on a daily basis – or at least whenever he deigns to spend time with her. I learned long ago, if you aren’t willing to kick her to the curb, it’s over and you are on the long slide to being a beta-chump…

There are plenty of women, and an unending supply of younger, tighter, nicer ones waiting for your attention. Why deny them the privilege of servicing you?

Sirach 33:20 As long as you have breath in your body, don’t let anyone lead your life for you.”

I miss protected monogamy too. But it is gone and dead in the West, and will not come back until women want it to. In the meantime, there is MGTOW and/or Game. What passes for marriage now is a joke, and without women shaming and excluding divorced women, as you mention, it really cannot be recommended to any man.

That’s a valid enough question for me to give an answer on before I go. I do feel it is a topic that can benefit us all.

For women it all depends on how strong the emotional connection is to a man and if you are filling her needs.
Let’s focus on the emotional connection though as it has the strongest pull factor, and hopefully I can give you some form of idea through a post. Which is difficult when challenging a held belief

Now for arguments sake let’s say you and I (hey try to visualize I am your perfect match) S go through the usual process and begin a relationship.

Things start off strongly. There is both a physical and emotional attraction, but more than that… When we are together there is an element of excitement that sets your heart fluttering. The feeling that I overwhelm your senses, where you feel safe to begin investing in me, both emotionally and physically. With each passing day you feel a stronger and stronger connection that warms your core. Where mind body and soul feel as though they are full of the pure essence of being. You are happy to be led in this passionate embrace. Your needs are satisfied, your spirit fulfilled. YOU ARE HAPPY!!

“Wait, what you’re breaking up with me?”

“What do you mean you want to break it off, no I don’t understand?”

“How is this for the better?”

And this is where the residual emotional attachment comes into play.
Developing an emotional attachment with a woman is a bit like hooking someone on drugs when it’s done right. It is very hard to maintain past a certain timeframe though in a relationship. And there can be numerous other mishaps, with this post only touching the surface.

Now first thought is usually ‘a$$hole’ and anger.
But that passes as the innate need for contact develops. The feeling of just being close to that person even if only briefly, gives them that fix that they crave.

Now I can drip feed your emotional needs to position you to where I want you to be. If I have anchored the emotions right, then you will feel as if no one can love you like I do. Or no one touches you or makes love to you with the passion that I do. Each stage through the escalation I have to ensure I am leading, directing and in touch with where I want to be. The end result I am looking for is your emotions screaming out to be fed in my absence. The reason you run back and fuck me is because it feels as if my intimacy is feeding your soul. The reason you try to please me is to grasp at the high I can deliver

You’re probably thinking:

“I’m not that stupid”

But most people can think back to moments in their life where the heart ruled the head. Hypotheticals are always a mother foucker. The most I can say is this is a high percentage occurrence.
Guys do this as well and God knows there are forum boards full of guys wanting to run back and get stomped on again. Guys tend to get hooked from their feelings being taken high, low, high, low etc over time. Women more from an intense high to a low over a shorter time frame.

Just reading something about a situation can be very hard to identify with because it reads like a no brainer. But if a lot of people wrote down the dumb things they do in love they would simply cringe and think;

‘Was I really that stupid?’

So bear that in mind when challenged with what may feel is an inconceivable notion. Emotions can blind you.

And you are right – why would a sensible person stay. The saving grace for a fool in love is time. Time to wake from his/her stupor.And generally people eventually wake up

I suppose I treat relationships a bit like bubble gum from time to time. I mean it’s great when it has flavour but over time it gets bland and tasteless and I have enough of it and throw it away. The last thing I want to do is go find it and pop it back in my mouth again for another go.

The above was just an over the top example to try and answer the question. Not something you should try and do, some kind of relationship advice, or something I go out of my way to do. Generally you only need a bare minimum of emotional attachment and play it from there. Each step can be expanded on massively and you will have to forgive my syntax, rambling and bad grammar.

Big thankyou to Rollo who has been a great mentor over the years. Someone who has my greatest respect.

Just learnt of the passing of Jophil, a great loss to the community and one that has saved many a broken man. I regret not letting him know the positive influence he had on my life.

Later all and best wishes

Hypergamy DO care. About shame, security, money, many things. What makes me think this way? Life. I am from Slovak Republic. Small country in central europe. We have been living this “demokracy” from 1989 but before that date we were living in communism (dictature). While having many flaws, in this society monogamy, marriage and family were heavily subsidized by state and protected by shame, traditions, etc. Women used to be married pretty soon, usually till 21 or 22. Many of PRETTY women, including my mom and women from my family, were virgins till marriage. Woman that was single after 23/4 was heavily shamed by society and pushed to find a man to “take care of her”. We had those baby booms back then, etc.

Beta men were practically given pretty wives – many times virgins, back then. High quality men were taken from the market pretty soon, usually by the highest quality women. Cheating was not so easy – you risked a lot in those times. Divorces were extremely rare. Marriages were stable. So this was the society in which monogay was protected, subsidizes and advertized by politics, state, people in general. Women that cheated or divorced were strongly shamed by other people. Protected monogamy cutts off the head of hypergamy veeeeery quicky. Of course you pay a prize for that – limited freedom.

I’m beginning to kind of enjoy the indignation people show when they pry enough find out I don’t think I ever want to get married. They all just assume that’s what every decent guy should want. I don’t often feel like going into a rant with them about it, but the short answer has something to do with THIS SEEMS TO BE HOW WOMEN PREFER ME.

Raised mostly by my mother, brain given a thorough washing by lib-fem society… by the time I reached my mid-20s, I believed a man should be egalitarian, considerate, and compromising in relationships, and he should treat his woman like a queen. This quickly translated into jumping how-high to shit tests and kowtowing to nagging, all of which I pretty much took without protest. I accepted my position. I was so faithful, I wouldn’t even check out other women when I was out alone.

And you know what? I kept getting NEXTed, in various ways.

I can see you’ve all got your surprise faces on.

So I finally said FUCK IT, NO MORE. And I’ve never done better.

Took me so long to figure out, but it’s very simple. Based on my experience of HOW THEY TREAT ME, when I try to do and be what society says I should – what women say they want – they INEVITABLY end up loathing me and finding a way to rid themselves of me.

When I do ONLY what I want, EXACTLY when I feel like it? They can’t seem to get enough of me. I do my best to hang on to the shreds of my past self, and show decency and kindness where it won’t hurt me. But if slighted, I will NEXT without hesitation and ignore them completely, and I think they sense that.

I don’t come right out and tell them that I have no ambition of graduating to boyfriend, let alone fiance…. or that I might bang someone else tomorrow…. or that I didn’t answer their call or text because when I saw their name I felt annoyed. But choosing to bring any of that up would just be stupid. First of all it would be unkind because it would hurt them. Then it’s just asking for an emotional, drawn-out, argumentative attempt to guilt-trip me. No thanks.

Some of them will figure out, from the way I act, not to push for anything more, and eventually get involved with some other guy who gives them more attention. Others might be banging other guys right now. Surprisingly, that doesn’t really bother me, as long as they don’t shove it in my face.

One day, should a lady decide to push “the talk about where we’re going”, will I be seen as the bad guy? Probably, but wouldn’t that be bullshit? I have promised nothing. She came after me. We hung out, enjoyed each others company. It’s the 21st century and she’s a woman who wanted to get laid, so I gave her that.

BUT she’ll choose to see me that way to protect her ego. Because beneath her consciousness, she draws self esteem from her ability to bend men to her will. Which I will not abide, and I don’t feel the least bit bad about that.

Once you’ve tried so hard to be the “good guy” and experienced firsthand how he gets treated, you’re not so afraid of what might happen to the “bad guy”.