It’s almost always & only been specifically the name of someone they know I despise. Usually the one competitor I have in those situations; always the biggest fucking tool – someone who is exactly like I was at some point in my life, hence I know everything he’s pulling at predict swiftly his every move – down to a science with some of these kids.

And with a few girls I’ve decided not hook up with them simply because they hooked up with some dude I think blows elephant cock & don’t want to be his sloppy second. If it were any other bloke I wouldn’t care in those situations.

And what’s funny is I’ve told this to girls after they’ve wondered why I didn’t pursue them, & we’ve talked about it.

Me: “Do you want to know why, really?”
Her: “I mean, yeah…” ”
Me: “Had you not fucked ______, we’d be in a different room right now,”
Her: “What!? Who told you? Yeah…I mean, I was drunk…”

In kicks the rationalization hamster & then the bafflement of me having known for months or weeks or days what happened, and having said nothing, which seems to make them more interested because I respected/ didn’t seem to care but then mad because I do care and have judged them for fucking a dude I don’t like.

I think I overanalyze some things too much. Oh well. That’s what the internet is for.

I have more to say at some point, but I’ve been writing a lot today.

It’s hard to know how to write about any of this without sounding like an arrogant asshole boasting of his exploits; or without giving oneself away, ya know?

I’m probably much like you Leap of Beta. Much like the most of us. Not quite Alpha but not necessarily Beta. Just somewhere in between depending.

Guysables – that’s good stuff.

That, and it’s a lot of fun to have her pull you to her in lusty frustration after you tease the hell out of her.

It’s also a good way to see if there’s no chemistry. If she’s not responding to the hot & heavy teasing, it’s probably time to move on.