Being a life long beta, this could be a rationalization for not being able to pull anyone else. Or I’m not as wired for novel pussy as others (I know, unlikely).

But I discovered Game late, and I have play the cards I have.

But learning Game even for a middle age married man is essential. You need to learn it to keep your wife attracted to you and fucking you. You need to know that she will cheat on you aren’t keeping up because she is hypergamous. You need to keep yourself ready to move on ( which also keeps her attracted to you.) you need to knock her off her pedestal and go play golf or whatever the fuck else you want to do.

As I said, men are the true romantics; there’s a part of us that wants to believe in the ideal so bad that we’ll commit suicide in pursuit of it.

BTW, read the whole series of Plate Theory:
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/category/plate-theory/

You accept the philosophical and rational implications of accepting concepts that a woman cannot fully appreciate your sacrifice in marriage, how society have make it risky on top of that, the cold calculation that there’s pretty much no gains unless you happen to be the exception. The loathing sense towards women to accept such a thought.

And you threw all of that out. You accept it for what it is, knowing it is a bad idea, and take the shot anyway. You want the ideal to happen. You want to be that 1 exception. You take the shot not for the likelihood of rewards like so many others think they are doing/did, you took the shot because you want the chance for the ideal. To love and adore one lady, despite you know reason stands against it.

The advice about spinning plates and ideas that seems to imply to never marry or take any monogamous stance with any woman is the rational act. But you accept you want the ideal, the irrational act is done. There’s no guarantees, but that’s what you want.