I was flaked on by a hot girl 3 weeks ago.

I blew it off.

Then sent a trial text that went something like this:

“Hey, halloween. too many lady gagas…”

Great way to get the hamster spinnning: “What does he mean?”

In this case she didn’t reply and I had my answer.

But better than they AFC text “What’s up?” and getting no answer.

Your other point about contentment is more contentious, and has me thinking. A few thoughts: it’s been studied that people have set points of happiness that don’t vary much throughout our lives. However I believe it’s also been studied that this set point can be re-set to a higher point, through some practices, such as Buddhist mindfulness and compassion practices. Also in my own life I’ve noticed periods of happiness and contentment that were based on causes and conditions. Lately pretty well every day my internal dialogue comes up with “I’m really very, very happy, life is good”. And I’ve had other periods in my life – many actually – where my internal dialogue spontaneously generated that thought several times a day. The thought usually coincides with a warm feeling in my chest.

So I’d say contentment may not be a permanent state, but it can be a generalized one.

I’m only happy when it rains
I’m only happy when it’s complicated
And though I know you can’t appreciate it
I’m only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
Why it feels so good to feel so sad
I’m only happy when it rains

Both you and Dish bring up good points. Men might never be satisfied with their wealth/status/power, but hypergamy dictates that women are never satisfied with the wealth/status/power of their partner.

” The idea of Romance just happens to be women’s food of choice. In fact it’s very similar to shopping; it’s not the buying that gets them off, it’s the act of shopping, it’s prolonging that purchase to better savor the experience. It’s foreplay. Forestalling the climax to heighten the experience.”

This is a very important point that all men need to learn. Anticipation and uncertainty drive women NUTS.

Been watching this play out recently with a chick I met several months ago. She’s one of those girls who throws off all of the signals of being smitten by me despite the fact of having a boyfriend who she claims to love.

Due to a couple of factors I decided against pursuing anything sexual with her, but we share a common hobby and I am trying to make some new friends in that scene so I decided to keep her around.

Met up with her a few times, most of the time with her boyfriend. Since I am not pursuing her the aloof, indifferent, mysterious part of me naturally materializes.

It’s funny being cognizant of the hamster when you have no skin in the game. If you look closely you can see smoke coming off of the wheel when you trigger this circuit. At that point it becomes a game to see how far you can take it.

Anyway, I have been very stingy with the information I have shared with her about me. As the weeks dragged on I could tell she was dying to know more about me. Had to cancel on a party she invited me to. Chance would have it that she “just missed” meeting some of my friends when we were out.. Basically, the way it went down I am still a big mystery to her.

So the other day after a brief text exchange where I had to turn down another party invite by her, she sends me a text saying “You know, one day I would really like to meet some of your friends. That is, if I am allowed to”.

This was totally out of the blue, after I told her I wouldn’t be able to attend her party due to a prior obligation. It kind of caught me off guard but then when I thought about it I realized what was happening. My lack of investment in her was causing the hamster to spin out of control.

I don’t know what she has built up in her mind about who or what she thinks I am, but it is most certainly a lot more than I could ever possibly measure up to in real life.

And that’s the lesson. Create the fantasy starting from the moment you meet her and keep building the story line indefinitely. Never, I repeat N-E-V-E-R take the plot line over the edge. Situation, action, climax, resolution. If you ever reach the climax you’re done. This is why it is of utmost importance that you keep raising your true SMV. You can maintain the plot by keeping some distance and maintaining a dominant frame, but at the end of the day who can keep up with a bunch of psychological jousting indefinitely? Much better to cultivate TRUE value. That way there will always be a nagging question in the back of her mind about whether or not she is making a bad decision if she screws you over.

Adam Carolla once explained his dynamic when he made a rant on Hot Chicks With Douchebags. Every guy needs to pick a direction. Women need something to hook themselves onto a guy; they’re like casting agents who typecast their leading role—whether it’s for the brother from the city, a surfer, a Don Juan, a douche bag on a crotch rocket. Be a character, cultivate an image, develop your brand. The “middle of the road guys” who are directionally rudderless don’t get laid.

Law 25: Re-Create Yourself
Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.