This weekend I attended a graduation party for a friend/interest at her parents house. I got to meet all the aunts/uncles and grandparents that were available to attend. I actually felt bad that I hadn’t attended a gathering like this in a while, it felt like I was seriously missing some unique social data gathering, but I digress.

At one point I was listening to Grandma (easily in her 80s) speak about how she met her current husband who was also sitting there (probably closer to 90, dealing with serious dementia). She mentioned, very casually, that she met her current husband only a year or so after her previous husband died. This woman was born in the 30s, and was likely a 50′s housewife at some point. She raised 4 daughters and a son with one man, stayed married to him through her children’s adulthood, and then remarried after only having buried her husband (likely ~>30 years of prior marriage) for 1 year. She expressed how LUCKY she was to have found this man only a year after her previous husband died.

The actual (dead) dad of the 2nd generation in the household was not mentioned, wasn’t even on the radar. This is a primarily Italian-American household, btw. Meanwhile, the father of the girl I’m friends with, who was the primary host of this party, has been STRUGGLING with the death of his wife, and that was 6 years ago. He only barely started dating again a year or so ago, and not very seriously. His house is still full of pictures of his dead wife and her things.

Women are, ultimately, the colder of the species. They can take a marriage of 30 years, and leave it behind easily. They even feel lucky they found someone new 1 year later after losing a spouse to death.

IMHO, maybe if the men who were left had spent more time affirming their wives and/or being not only the “boss,” but the true head of the household in a spiritual sense, they would still be with their wives. Billy Graham preached that the man set the tone for the marriage. if he treated his wife well and followed God’s plan, he would reap great rewards.

I also appreciate the tone of (most of) the comments. They were intelligent and respectful, a far cry from those posting on Dalrock (one example of many.)

Thank you again. I find your thesis well reasoned and intelligent.