Comments on: AFC Social Conventions

By: XNXN

XNXN — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 22:59:44 +0000

Sky, I think assuming you are ethically obliged to disclose your status to a casual hookup is overblown and misguided. Legally, you are certainly not required to do so in the United States (unlike HIV, in many states). If you take suppressive medications, avoid sex on OBs, and use protection, your chances of transmitting the virus are 0-2%. If your original site of infection and OB occur on the the area covered by the condom, then the chances of transmission are even closer to 0%. The numbers you read on the internet about condoms only being partially successful at stopping the virus take into account shedding areas unshielded by the condom. But the body tends to shed where the OBs appear. Hence, if its on your shaft or head that’s where you shed — so if a condom covers it — you’re good and very unlikely to transmit. Did you catch the virus from a girl while using a condom? I doubt it; nobody I know did. Friends of mine who have had been exposed were unilaterally having sex without protection. In any case, don’t be so hard on yourself. Allow yourself to pursue your sexual goals and do it in a way that best protects your partners. A lot of internet discussion around herpes tends to this moralistic “you must disclose!” mantra —- that’s a mantra more intended to (over-time) destroy the stigma of herpes but at the expense of individuals taking the brunt and being the victims of social or sexual rejection. Basically it’s about this: if 10,000s of people over the next decade disclose and get rejected, public perception about the virus may start to shift. If that’s the project you want to be part of, that’s on you. But there is no higher power or karmic scoreboard keeping tabs against you for NOT disclosing if you take care to protect your partner in sensible ways. I know a PUA who has been living with the virus for 3 years and has had dozens and dozens of sex encounters, never disclosed, and as far as he knows never passed the virus on to anyone. Finally, this post may be heartening: http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/stds-are-overblown-the-guide-to-stds-vt119507.html

By: Sky

Sky — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:37:47 +0000

So, this article hit a nerve with me, about a question none of my more PUA or Game-minded friends have been able to really advise me on. You see…I dated a woman for a couple months and when we had sex the first time she did in fact give me Herpes. Truthfully its really not that hard to live with…when you first get it you get the worst flu ever and its hell but after that it’s nothing more horrible, and often indistinguishable from an ingrown hair or pimple, and I never get outbreaks on my actual junk. WHAT IS the real issue is one of ethics and the law. As we all know seduction is a process of turning on the emotional attraction triggers for a woman and creating on some level more or less a fantasy experience. And yet I am bound by ethics that when things are getting to the point where they might be sexual, I have to “have the talk” about my status…nothing kills the mood faster than being dropped into THAT reality. On a whole other level, apparently women can sue now if you do give them a VD and they can prove you had prior knowledge and did non-disclose.

So…all of this has gotten me a bit down as to my SMV. I’m very tall, handsome…I’m a bit overweight but am working daily tooth and nail to get a rockstar body, and I’m also working daily on overcoming the Beta conditioning I got my whole life from being raised by my victim-card-playing serial divorcee mother who raised me (I am a BIG TIME recovering former Christian White Knight Beta Good Boy).

I’m turning 33 this year. In the next few years my career is going to be rocking, my bod is going to be rocking, but I HAVE THIS FUCKING PERMANENT VD…it makes me feel like I’m going to have to settle for whatever post-Wall woman I can get who will accept me, because every single mid-20’s girl that’s been into me has run for the hills as soon as I’ve been honest and straight-up about my status, and why shouldn’t they? As tall and handsome as I may be its not hard for them to find others even more handsome or more successful. Yeah 50-80% of the population ends up with one form of HSV or another by age 50, and it’s ironic that those promiscuous women are likely to get a bug like Herpes because it can be so innocuous and go undetected for so long.

Anyway, would love any thoughts or advice from you guys about the best way to approach Game as an otherwise awesome HSV positive guy…

Thanks again for such an amazing body of work.

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